Winter Warfare
by punkydiva17
Summary: A winter one-shot for my friend Tina! After an innocent act of Jeri-trolling, Chris Jericho finds more than he bargained for...


It was every bit a winter wonderland outside. The secluded wooded path that the two of them had walked into was no exception. The path was unpaved and untraveled, covered with about six inches of pristine, glistening snow. It covered everything. Through the trees, a long, narrow strip of blinding white sky was visible. The weather was even colder than it looked, with a windchill cold enough to cut Frosty the Snowman to the bone. More snow was promised in the next few days, guaranteeing a white Christmas. Nobody in Manitoba was surprised.

Chris Jericho let himself drop behind the bundle of trees, his breath coming out in short and shallow pants that puffed clouds into the December air. It was three days until Christmas, and what had started as an innocent walk through the trails had morphed into winter warfare. Chris let his blue eyes scan his surroundings frantically, looking for any sign of her. At the very least, he was hoping to find another place to hide, one that would give him a better view of the area.

Things had started innocently enough. After going out to buy a Christmas tree, Chris and his girlfriend had decided on a whim to walk through the trails. Chris used to live in them growing up, playing hide and seek with his friends and climbing the trees. Unable to resist the strong pang of nostalgia, Chris agreed, but he didn't want to stay out too long. He just wanted to get home and decorate the tree.

They walked along the trails. She laughed at all the stories of childhood hijinks he told. She cupped her cup of hot chocolate close to her, fighting the shivers. She was always determined to prove that she was just as tough as he was. They were both competitive to a fault, but things seemed to work for the two of them. Chris didn't want to question it.

He'd let her walk ahead a little. She hadn't noticed that he'd fallen out of step with her until he ran up and hit the weak tree beside her with all the force he could muster. The tree shifted, dropping four centimetres of snow on her. Shocked, she shrieked, her hands flying up to shield herself. In the process, she had lost her hot chocolate. It splattered in the snow. He looked at her, an impish smile on his face, only to be met with silent anger in hers.

It was on.

Chris steadied himself and continued to look for another place. Little had he known that his one mischievous action would awaken a monster. He had no idea where she went; he couldn't hear her. At the very least, he knew someone was walking out of the trail with their ego bruised.

_Bam!_

His eyes widened as a snowball splattered only four inches above his head. Looking forward, he spotted her behind a tree. She was holding another snowball in her black and violet gloved hands, ready to aim and fire. "Shit!" he said, unable to keep from laughing as his obscenity echoed in the air. She fired. He rolled out of the way, kicking up snow in his wake. The snowball missed him by a couple inches, hitting the tree and collapsing into a pile in the snow. He was on his feet in a flash, running as fast as he could down the trail, kicking up snow behind him.

"You're not going to get away from me, Jericho!" she called out.

"Watch me!" he retorted, not turning back. He found another tree and got behind it. It was a sturdy tree with a wide trunk. He looked up at it, contemplating climbing the tree. She would never find him up there. Looking around, he couldn't find a branch to climb. Between that, the snow and the fact he hadn't climbed a tree since one really drunken night in his early twenties, Chris decided to abandon the idea.

Leaning down to make another snowball, he heard a snowball splatter on the other side of his tree. He straightened up as though he'd heard a gunshot. "Oh, come on, that's not fair! I had my back turned! I wasn't even ready!"

"Excuses, excuses." It was her turn to taunt now. He peered at her from behind the tree. The winter weather had turned her cheeks a bright red. Her brown eyes sparkled with mischief and glee. The hood of her red and olive parka was down, exposing thick brown hair that moved with the wind and her every movement. In her right hand, she held a snowball.

He pitched his snowball at her. She let out a shriek and jumped back, missing the snowball by a fraction of an inch. She got behind the closest tree, but it was nowhere near the size of Chris's tree.

"You missed me, bitch!"

"Bitch...?" Chris laughed incredulously. "Oh, the mouth on you..." he chastised playfully. He crouched behind his tree. There was a small pause in the action as the two of them began to build another arsenal of snowballs to have ready at their disposal. He picked up a snowball. "You really should just give up now," he called out to her. "There is no way you're getting out of this. I don't know if you're aware or not, but I _invented _snowball fights."

"Are you kidding me right now?" Her high-pitched peal of laughter echoed through the woods. He peered over, looking for any sign of her behind the tree, any part of her he could hit with a snowball. She was too quick and too smart. Chris knew if he was going to nail her, he was going to have to bank on the element of surprise.

"I'm dead serious." He sighed. "What do you want to get out of this?"

"If I'm lucky, I'm going to hit you with a snowball, and then you're going to replace the hot chocolate you ruined," she informed him, her tone matter of fact. He did owe her another hot chocolate, he knew. Even though she couldn't see it, she knew that he was smiling behind his tree.

"I know you said you were a chocoholic, but don't you think this is a little extreme?" he called to her.

"Are you telling me that the big, bad Chris Jericho is afraid of a little snow?" she taunted. She punctuated her question by launching a snowball. It landed in front of his tree with a soft _plop_. He leaned over and launched a snowball at her. It whizzed by her head, missing her by an inch. He stopped for a moment to laugh.

"Jesus Christ, we're terrible aims," he laughed. They both pitched snowballs at each other.

Thanks to his throw, he had no time to get away from her snowball. It hit him in the nose, exploding in his face like an ice-cold grenade. His snowball hit her in the forehead. They both fell backwards into the snow, laughing hysterically. "I win!" she called out, her voice sailing over to him on the air.

He hated to admit it, but her snowball had landed first. She came out from around her tree and walked over to him. She extended her hand. "I'd say you're spending too much time being a rock-star. You're losing your edge," she teased.

"Oh, is that so?" He clasped her hand. Instead of allowing her to help him to his feet, he pulled her down. She shrieked as she landed on top of him.

"You really are a jerk sometimes, you know that?" she laughed, burrowing her head into his chest.

"Eh, you love it." They were still for a couple moments. "As fun as this mild case of hypothermia has been, I'm thinking we should probably get back. We do still have to get the tree in the house."

"Yeah. Good idea," she agreed with an exhale. The two of them scrambled to their feet, brushing the snow off themselves. He grabbed her gloved hand with his. "We're stopping for that hot chocolate on the way home, though. I barely got to drink any of it."

"I'm sorry." He tried to put on his best sad puppy expression, but she saw through it. She always did.

"You aren't even."

"It was worth it," he confessed. "That was fun."

"I beat Chris Jericho."

"Oh, that's what you took away from this." They walked towards the car. She nodded.

"Definitely. It's kind of a big thing, you know, what with you being all Mr. Undisputed Champion and all..." She giggled. "And, I mean, I did get you right in the _face_."

"Keep it up. Keep it up," he chastised, but he was smiling. They stepped through the trees and back out into the open. Their nostrils burned from the cold air. "See where it gets you." He reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out the car keys. With the press of a button, he unlocked the car.

"Is that a threat or a promise?" she teased.

"Wait and see. Get in the car," he said with a snort.

When they were both inside and buckled up, he started the car. They drove off, back towards the house. She watched silently in the rear-view mirror as the woods disappeared behind them.


End file.
